Before birth, I chose my rate of suffering!

Marcus: I have had these memories since I was child. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while. I have always felt like I was the only one who had witnessed the entrance of life through a portal warp hole. It blows my mind every time I think about it.

So here’s what I remember:

I remember being around a table like portal-type thing with a few light beings dressed in robes. This place was amazing. We could feel and hear one another without touching or speaking. We were all talking, but not with lips or words, only with “mind spirit”. We were all there to basically be born: to have an experience, but an experience of suffering.

Some went ahead of me; then it was my turn.

I was asked to choose my rate of suffering. I had 3 options.

1. “slow” rate where bad things happen throughout life.

2. “medium” rate where more than half of my life would be suffering and rest would be less suffering.

3. “fast” meaning that the rate of suffering will hit me the day I’m born at super fast mode and my life will get better faster once I awaken.

I told them, “Just bring it on full force!”

I was born to a 16-year-old girl and my father was 19!

I remember being in the womb. It was a comforting place until it was time to come out. I decided to flip. I don’t think I was ready and I flipped because I got scared. I got tangled up and they almost lost me. Maybe that was the beginning of my suffering.

Being born was very bright and loud. I was very red and my mom said, “You were pissed off.”

My mom was adopted. My adopted grandparents got divorced. The day I was born, Joyce, my mom’s adopted mother, knew my mom needed help, but she kicked us out of the house.

My dad was Native American and began to sell marijuana to help support us. He gave my mom a little money.

Soon after that, my father began selling marijuana to undercover. He got caught and locked up.

Dad passed a week before my first birthday. They say he committed suicide. No one knows why. But in his last letter, he explained that some people in jail were bothering him.

My wonderful adopted grandfather Richard moved my mom and me to a small government assistance town after Dad passed.

When I was 3, my mom had to step out on her own. She moved in with JoAnn, a girlfriend from school. Jo wasn’t a good person. Mom never paid attention to me after that. Jo took advantage of me in a bad way. Jo beat me and poisoned me. She forced me to swallow dish detergent. This went on for 2 years.

I tried to tell Mom, but I couldn’t say it. I became sick and didn’t want to eat. Mom noticed that I was sick, but didn’t know what it was. When I was coming up to my fifth birthday, I was in a state of not wanting to live and not feeling loved.

If it wasn’t for my maternal birth grandmother Laura, I wouldn’t have known anything about churches, Jesus, or spiritual things. Grandma was a spiritual person and taught me to pray to the North Star. Laura really cared. She showed me how to take care of a farm and how to wash dishes.

She was the only woman who tried to step up and help me. So I paid attention to anything she showed me. Every time I stayed with her, I usually went to church. Grandma Laura told me: “If you ever need anything, pray for it and it will come true.”

Grandma Laura and Grandpa Nels were my favorite people. I felt at home with them and loved how they lived on a farmhouse. Grandma Laura didn’t eat meat and was a vegan.

Because of what she taught me, I offered many prayers. One night I offered my prayer on my worst day ever and that’s when I got an answer!

I sent out a prayer to the North Star that had so much meaning. I gave it all up and said, “If this is life, I do not want to live anymore. There is no point. I know what to expect the next day: pain and suffering!

Please take me away!”

Then the “Mother” appeared. She started off as a bright light. Then she came into focus like coming from the sky.

I was scared, but soon an overwhelming energy and light comforted me.

The Mother looked like light shades of light to show figure of face. Golden curls. Many light angels were flying around her. Baby Angels. She seemed to wear a robe or dress. The center of her was very bright. Everything was flowing with energy.

I was told: “Everything will be all right. We will make things better.”

For a week this energy source continued to speak to me and even though I wanted to leave earthly life with them, they said. “It isn’t your time and you are destined to do greatness.”

I was given three miracle wishes. I asked first for the death of my mother’s girlfriend Jo who abused me.

They laughed and said, “It doesn’t work that way.” They weren’t able to take life. They were only able to give life.

I asked for money. They said they couldn’t do that because money wouldn’t solve anything and it is an evil that they don’t associate with – meaning materialistic items.

I asked, “What can I wish for?”

They said: “Love, family, and happiness.”

I said, “I would like a family with three or four kids who love me forever and no matter what with a great wife and a wonderful life.”

They said, “Done!”

I asked, “How will I know?”

They said, “Follow the clues of life.”

That was the last day I was sad.

This energy source held me every time they visited and on the last day I felt my spirit being pulled through the ceiling when they started to ascend, but the ceiling started to feel more solid and I fell back down to my body.

Before birth I had chosen great suffering until I became awakened. After my first spiritual awakening, from the age of 5 on out, the rate of suffering became less intense. Jo who had been abusing me finally got kicked out of my life and things got better with my mom. She paid more attention to me although I still never saw her much since she was always working and I was at a babysitter’s.

In the past every person I got close to eventually died, but when I met my spiritually-gifted wife, things got better. Today we have three children. I’m grateful. Our fourth child, my third son, passed away.

I have had a second spiritual awakening and I’m now on my correct path. I am a Reiki healer and teaching my children as well. I have also been working to figure out my past lives.