Beverly's Cosmic Memory

People tell me to call myself a mystic, but that is a big word for somebody who I think is so ordinary. I am a Mom who pays bills, goes grocery shopping, gets my teeth filled just like everyone else. I am just a being who is living the most of me I know how and I haven't even got warmed up yet. Nor have most of us on the planet, but we are working on it.

And I remember the in-betweens. They are just as tangible as the "heres" [earthly lives]. They are another form of being that is not squashed together in such a small package. Because when you are "there" and not currently occupying a shell, a package - I call it the kleenexes because they come and go - we do not lose or change anything about ourselves except our fear. Fear is a function of survival incorporated in the humanness of our bodies.

I experienced feelings and memories that made no sense to my conscious mind throughout childhood. I remembered being a warrior. And I often dreamed that I was a Persian girl and woke up feeling stunned that I was a little girl in a white body. I thought, "This is weird! Why am I female and Anglo? I am used to being dark. I have always been dark. It makes no sense. Why am I in this life? I am so confused."

I can tell countless stories of lying in bed and feeling frustrated that I had no servants. "Don't they know I am the queen? They are supposed to bring me what I want." I thought, "Why do I feel that way? I was aggravated that nobody knew who I was. I was ticked-off. And I did not know how to express it.

Memories were brewing in my superconscious mind, nagging at me, poking at me - until the Universe arranged an NDE to bring back more "down-loaded information" to my consciousness. I was nine years old.

When I walked back through the veil into this molecular vibration, I brought back memory of all of me: memories of all the in-between times and all of the times here. My brain was allowed - by the Grace of God - to access more of my memory of the All and being allowed to access other people's memories of the All.

To ask, "How do I remember?" is like asking, "How do I breathe?" There is no difference. There is no stop in time and space for me. And the veil is not really there. It is our brain's perceiving the veil as existing that cuts us off from our superconscious memory, our true higher self - other than the little piece of us here that we are trying to school right now. So I don't like the phrase "the other side of the veil" because there is no veil. Heaven is simply there and our minds obscure it. Our mind is designed to sense sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, and is so preoccupied with maintaining and protecting the body, that it tends to be a good cap on accessing collective consciousness.

I know and I am at ease with the angels. They are also children of God, but are on a different level of tone, perception, of being, of resonance, of soul, than we are. They are doing their karmic duty with joy and pride and are learning and growing, similar to us. Eventually we become angels - when our perception is broad enough and our fear small enough. As a child, my memories seemed natural. I was only a kid and did not know any better. On the other hand, I did not share memories with my parents.

Pre-cognitive skills run in the family, but my parents are also Southern Baptist and Roman Catholic. So one thing I could not broach with my mother was reincarnation. There was one life and then we go to Heaven. My mother has changed since then, I might add. Recently her consciousness welled up. I never thought I would see it happen.

Even though I could not converse with my parents about my memories, God put some protective measures in my life. By the time I tried to understand who I was, let alone get a grip on why I was here, I was given the gift of my teacher in the form of my brother Jim. We agreed prior to birth to be born to the same parents. He chose to be my big brother, with enough span between us in years where he could have some education on some topics that would help me. Jim was a Zen Buddhist studying martial arts. We talked, explored, and exchanged … and we have all of our lives. Jim has probably been my teacher before. He is very precious.

I remember when God initially spun me on my merry way and said: "Have a good time. Come back when you are all done."

My soul journey began at the Source. I remember before I left as a spark of God - I remember my spark and Him. And the profound limitless power of that makes me a little nervous. He is in the major leagues and we are in the minor leagues. But talent grows, evolves, and matures, and we will get there, too. But I will be fine doing the minor leagues for awhile. I am not ready to do that format yet. I do not respect it enough. I will, with time, as will all of us.

It is difficult to verbalize what happened when my soul became individuated. I remember coming from the "All That Is," as a projectile of light. I remember being spat out, pushed out like a projectile and I was screaming through the universe as a spark of light, like a little star. I knew that I was going somewhere, but I did not know where. There was no fear, just a feeling of sheer exhilaration. I clearly remember stars whizzing by, but there was no sensation of movement as we know it as humans. There was no density, no up or down, no left or right, no time, no sensations of colors, sound, or heat. You just were. It was pure energy. You were surrounded by comfort and ease. It was wonderful.

I haven't a clue as to "when" that was. There was no time associated with that because there was no space. Space did not mean anything. You just were. So that is the best human description I can give. When science says that space travel is impossible because of space-time dimensionality, I know they are wrong. Oh yes, you can - if you are working beyond the quantum laws which the Creator is. He molds them to His Will.

Our soul's journey is an open-ended schoolhouse of remembering "the little god that we are." God gave birth to us. He did not need to. He gave us life, gave us existence to share love with. He did not want to be alone. And we may be slightly errant or naughty children, but eventually all children grow up and mellow out. Even most humans go through wild, crazy phases and screw up a lot. Then, they get their shit glued together in their 40s or 50s. We are similar for Him. We are His children. Occasionally we may be wild and do stupid things, but He loves us nonetheless. And look at how many little god-beings He gave birth to. Does not He do good work? Ain't it cool?

Some people are frustrated because they are not finding God. They try to wrap their brains around concepts that their brains are incapable of comprehending. Instead of looking out there, look inside. It is already there.

The parameters of His limitlessness give me profound joy because the all-powerful, almighty Being at the basis of the universe, "our most wondrous Lord," is also evolving. In His joyous exuberance of life and giving forth manifested life, He is learning and growing, too. His giving birth to us is part of His process of growing.

So the next time I see God, I will ask, "Where did you come from?" I know He is going to answer that He is part of a wholeness, too. The ad infinitum is beyond comprehension. My brain cannot go that far, but my soul can. We cannot wrap our brains around the end of our growth which makes me go, "Yeh, hah!" If the game gets more interesting than this, I want to play.

God chose an overriding lesson plan for our soul - genetics, predispositions, all the talents that we carry. Each life force on this plane is unique. The lesson plan for each spark of life is also one of a kind, but incredibly interactive, so much fun. Our most wondrous Creator is one heck of a multi-tasker. He simultaneously juggles minutia and dimensions without even breaking a sweat, not even thinking about it … just breathes it and it is.

The Creator is a loving, patient, joyful gardener. All He wants is for us to discover our uniqueness, revel in it, be proud of it, and live it effortlessly, without fear, worry, or shame. When we do that, we evolve into the seed of the godling that we are. It takes a while, but as we go along, we begin to know that we are good at some things and not good at others. We know we are supposed to be doing this and not doing that.

Each spark of God, our speck of uniqueness, is just as precious as all the others. Each spark is like one of the elements in the table of elements. Each element reacts differently with the others. My overriding lesson plan is to understand my function as a catalyst.

I am like the oxygen molecule that has a correct molecular structure, tone of being, or energy dynamics, that can interact with lots of other elements and make things change. My lesson plan has been to understand that there is no power but the "All that is" and I am but a piece of that. Therefore how can I be more proud of myself than anyone else? How can I be more special than anyone else? Yes, I am unique, but each molecular structure has a function and a purpose that is to be regarded with the utmost respect.

People often tell me,"You are so amazing, so special." I look at them and say, "So are you!" I thank God for every soul who comes to me. I learn something from each of them, that I would not find anywhere else in the universe. So how can anybody tell me that they are more or less than anyone else? I do not buy that.

I disagree with human categorizing into levels of maturity and worthiness. Does it make the child who grows up first any more special than the little child who is to come behind him? We are all equally cherished and loved by the Love source. There is no better or worse soul.

The universe is like a choir. Each soul in the choir has a unique voice, color, range, talent. Each soul has melodies it enjoys, as well as melodies it dislikes or feels comfortable singing. But that is okay. God created the whole choir, not just one voice.

So each voice is magnificent in its own way. But we need all the voices to make the music. So, yes, some are more or less than others. However, what is important is learning to appreciate and encourage each soul's voice, abundance, to manifest. That is what God is trying to teach us. Until we learn that, we will not be grown up enough to be little gods. We will be warring with each other and making a mess of the universe. So we are still children who have much to learn, but we are loved every step of the way.

God even loves the being that once was close to God whom the Bible calls Lucifer. God may be a little disappointed with Lucifer right now, but God will not even give up on him. And eventually God will win him Home.

There is no one who is better than another. Some are living their God-source better than others, but eventually everyone realizes the big picture.